Something happens when we get older. We start to have higher expectations, less patience, minimal support and a lack of love for who we are. We adopt a critical mindset that always seems to hold us back. This critical voice tells us we are messing up, we are not worth anything, we do not deserve love or to be happy. It’s because when we look in a mirror we see an adult, someone who should be perfect, successful, and knows everything. We become so hard on ourselves and unforgiving. We become our own worst enemy.
When we interact with children, we are much more understanding and compassionate. We allow kids to make mistakes, and when they fall, we pick them up, brush them off and ensure them that everything will be ok. Our patience grows beyond what we thought we had because we understand that they are learning and they are going to mess up because that is how they learn. But we seem unable to show this type of understanding for when we fall short.
The way we perceive who we are determines the way we treat ourself. If we start looking at ourself as a child we learn to be patient, supportive, loving, and forgiving. We gain understanding that we are not perfect and are going to fall short. We learn that making mistakes is a part of growth and a necessity to become a better person. Failures become an opportunity to do better and learn more about who we are as people. Next time you look in the mirror, try not to see an adult who is supposed to be perfect, but see a child who is going to make mistakes but still deserves love and support.
– Aaron Plotz, MS, LMHC